would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
