maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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