The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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