Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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