she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize