Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
