so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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