love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
