You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
