i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Randomize
