WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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