My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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