So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I touched a dick in church today
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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