I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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