I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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