We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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