it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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