He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
