they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
