So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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