You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
