Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
