i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
this just has baby written all over it
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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