I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
