Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
