I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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