idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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