Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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