sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
