Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

her vagina looked like bernie madoff

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(281): View more from Texas

He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Did you send adult things?

(281): View more from Texas

Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year

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(410): View more from Maryland

A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

(410): View more from Maryland

and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time

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(734): View more from Michigan

You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.

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(940): View more from Texas

we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat

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(512): View more from Texas

I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.

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(858): View more from California

cinco de mayo stole my toenail

(415): View more from California

cinco de mayo stole my virginity.

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