ugly people sure do ruin things
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
