Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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