his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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