No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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