i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize