Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
