yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
