sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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