I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
