i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
