To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I currently don't understand fingers.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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