Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I should be sponsored by Trojan
there was a trapeze. enough said
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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