On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
