theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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