My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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