Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
