Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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