we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
