Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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