you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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