I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
