Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
