what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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