i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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