I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
