yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Boobs speak an international language.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
