Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
