we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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