Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
