Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
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