Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
