are you so shy because you have an std?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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