Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
