what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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