in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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