I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So much Jack, so little girl.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
