There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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