NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
