then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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